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HTML goes first because its easy then XHTML (its almost the same thing). CSS and JavaScript would be the next thing to learn, and if you want to continue learning web related scripting languages then I would suggest learning PHP and MySQL after words. Flash is fine to learn if you want to make pretty pictures that move and do fancy things. You can learn flash whenever, but if your going to learn flash then you might as well learn how to use Photoshop and gimp as well.
HTML, XHTML, CSS
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780596101978&itm=1
JavaScript, DHTML
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780596514082&itm=6
PHP, MySQL
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780321336576&itm=2
Flash
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EAN=9780321321251&itm=2
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